Two Denials equal one situation
When I was a teenager, my parents sent me to a private school and for 6 years I found myself surrounded by my high-society rich schoolmates with the expensive clothes and the celebrity parents. I thought that they were almost like movie stars: glamorous, amazing, charming, graceful, adventurous – everything that I would never ever be. I don’t think they rejected me. But I rejected myself, completely and violently. I wanted to be someone else, I wanted to be like them, I was so angry with my working class parents and my second hand clothes I was forced to wear. I kept pretending that I was someone cool, mysterious, sophisticated; a divine creature full of charisma. But, despite my efforts, it was just me: an insecure, scared, lonely little girl, trying to survive in this terrifying world. I craved, for example, to be a real Scorpions fun, but the truth was that I couldn’t stand them: they were too ugly and loud for my taste. Instead, I found myself listening to Cyndi Lauper’s «Girls Just Want to Have Fun» and loving it. What a disgrace! My self was failing me. That was my secret. I never told anybody.
Today, I realize that this teenager just wanted to have some fun. That’s all she really needed to get by. Cyndi was right. She is a wise woman, indeed. And here is a secret: I love this song. I love Cyndi Lauper. I love the teenager who secretly loved Cyndi Lauper. In my backpack I have an mp3 player and, whenever I feel like I am in trouble, trying to be someone I don’t really recognize, I listen to this song repeatedly. It takes me back home to me. And it helps me remember that no matter how hard things are, girls just want to have fun. And everything will be fine.
“My backpack» – a solo performance
Winter 2016, Athens
photo/artwork: Vangelis Evangeliou
I’d love to translate in English everything I just wrote in Greek, but I’m not going to. I will just give you an idea about what this is all about. A notebook about my work. I am working on a solo performance. I have never wrote anything in public. I have never prepared a solo performance for an unknown audience. I have never shared personal stuff through my art. All these are small steps. I just want to note that i am moving. Walking, running, the pace is of no importance. I take some first steps to the unknown. That’s all.
The performance will be ready sometime during Winter.
I am crazy excited.
“My backpack” – a solo performance Winter 2016 photo/artwork by Vangelis Evangeliou